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Feeling Exhausted From Doing It All

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7 Tips For Telling The Truth To Yourself

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You would think that telling the truth to yourself would be a given. After all, no one else can read your mind or know your entire history. Only you know your life, your thoughts, your feelings, your reasons…right?
Sounds so logical. And yet, even the most well-intended of us can be crafty artful dodgers in the truth department. Sometimes “telling the truth to yourself” is more a matter of “telling yourself the truth you want to hear.”
And you can’t be honest with others until you are honest with yourself.
The unconscious nature of self-deception makes it difficult to know when you are lying to yourself. The decision to embrace honesty means fearlessly, non-judgmentally observing yourself and your internal motivations.
The process of telling the truth to yourself is challenging. It is an ongoing, non-linear commitment to personal freedom and authentic relationships. However, the results, as you can imagine, are worth the effort.
So how do you get there? Better yet, how do you even start, especially if you don’t even suspect you are being dishonest with yourself?

Here are some tips for navigating that internal sea of self-deception and landing safely at a freer, more honest you:

  1. Grab a blank journal and use it solely for this work. You will be asking yourself probing questions and answering them in this journal where you can actually see the truth emerge.
  2. Seek help. A certified professional or elite coach can provide the objectivity and absence of judgment necessary for the process.
  3. Give yourself an objective appraisal. What do you like about yourself? What do you need to work on? Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. The key here is to do away with those psychological barriers that force you into dishonest behaviors.
  4. Confront things you don’t like about yourself. A big source of dishonesty is our unwillingness to confront things we are ashamed of or embarrassed about. Eliminate excuses from your thinking so you can expose those ghosts that like to stay hidden.

     

    1. Seek your internal motivations. If you’re going to start telling the truth to yourself, you must recognize when you’re lying to yourself. And that means fearless self-observation…from the inside out.
      a.       Notice your emotion. If you find yourself having an emotional reaction, you are being reminded of something painful, raw or unresolved. These are the areas where it will be difficult to tell the truth. So, ask yourself: “What is this emotion? What is it in reaction to? And is it related to the present situation, or is the present situation a trigger?”
      b.       Notice your thoughts. Our thoughts are not always accurate, and can reflect painful realities we don’t want to admit. Stereotypes and generalized judgments are good examples of that tendency. Ask yourself: “What words am I using? Are my thoughts accurate? How is my past shaping my thoughts?”
      c. Notice your behavior. When your behavior is not consistent with who you want or claim to be, ask yourself: “Why am I acting this way? What is motivating my behavior? What do I not want to admit about my behavior, and why?”
      d. Create opportunities for yourself to improve. Identify specific areas for improvement and specific ways to improve yourself. Be aware of both what supports and what threatens these improvements.
      e. See yourself in the future. Envision a time when you are fully and honestly living your life, and make that reality a little more present every day.

You may notice that the process of telling the truth to yourself requires going inward. You will be spending a lot of time with yourself. You might even feel as if you are in a “new relationship,” getting to know someone special for the first time. And how wonderful is that!
As the lies drop away from your existence, you will get to enjoy an emotionally lighter you. You will also get to share your new, authentic self with others, which means healthier relationships.
Are you noticing a pattern? Telling the truth to yourself is an internal validation of your inherent worth. It is an act of self-trust and self-empowerment, and ultimately a huge boost to your self-esteem. If you can handle tough truth-telling with yourself, you can handle anything!
If you need help mapping a course through self-honesty, please reach out and allow us to help. Supporting and aiding you on the journey toward your highest good is why we are here.

 

Tips for Dealing With The Stress of the Holidays

Tips for Dealing With The Stress of the Holidays

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The holiday brings stress to many people and learning how to cope with it is critical to making them happy and joyous versus traumatic.

First know that no matter how old you are the holidays can bring you back to a time when you were less resourceful and looking for the approval of others. Whether you are 30 or 50 the thought of going back home can make you feel like you are 12 years old all over again.

Thoughts of being judged, worrying about what they will say or think about what you are doing. Do you even dare to share?

The anxiety builds up and starts to stack around everything you are doing. What would be effortless in every day life seems to compound during the holidays.

Here are some tips for dealing with the stress of the Holidays and how to cope:

  1. Come from a place of “Gratitude versus Havitude”. Be grateful that you have a family to go home to or have come to you. Be grateful that you are here on this earth. Find gratitude in the smallest things and the big things will not cause any anxiety or despair during the holidays. Practice Gratitude not Havitude.
  2. Remember you are not a child any more. It is easy to fall back into old behaviors, but instead remember who you are now and what you have become. You do not need to prove anything to anyone except yourself.
  3. Praise yourself for every step you take to making arrangements to see the family. That may include flying, driving or hosting. Celebrate the actions you take and not base it on the outcomes. You can’t please everyone but you can please yourself.
  4. Make things smaller than they are by putting things in perspective. When we make things bigger than they are we tend to feel like we have the elephant in the room and there is no getting around it. Make things manageable so you can deal with it with ease and grace.
    It’s only a dinner. There will only be 20 people there. Stop comparing yourself to others in the family. Keep it simple.
  5. Learn to say NO to what doesn’t serve you! Saying NO to others is saying YES to you!  If you try to please everyone you will end up pleasing no one. Do your best and forget the test.
  6. Love isn’t the price tag on the gift. Make the holidays about the people not the gifts. The holidays can put a unnecessary financial strain on people when we forget the meaning of what it truly is mean to be. It is about being with the ones you love and celebrating them not the gifts.If it is too much of a financial strain for you then share with your family that you do not want to do gifts. Or if you believe like I do that we got away from the real meaning of the holidays and you just want the gift to be, being together for celebrate each other then do so.   Many people are missing holidays due to the financial strain it is putting on them and the family and the unspoken needs to be said.
  7. Making the holidays about others! Take the focus off yourself and watch all the stress and anxiety disappear. When we make it about ourselves we trade our expectations for appreciation.  The holidays are about sharing, giving and loving.  The more you give the more you get.

If you feel stuck in your effort to make things work, or struggle to feel good enough, please reach out. We are here to help. Reach out 1-844-FINEtoFAB.

You can find more helpful tips on loving yourself, letting go and improving your self-esteem by calling 1-844-FINEtoFAB, emailing us at [email protected] or Pick up a copy of my book, Fine to Fab here!

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How To Overcome Feeling Exhausted From Doing It All

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As every successful woman knows, having a great career and a happy family takes a lot of effort. In fact, it can be completely draining. So, learning how to overcome feeling exhausted from doing it all is critical.

You might look at the task of learning how to overcome your fatigue as something else to do someday when you have some time at some point in the future. Unfortunately, if this is your belief, you’re condemning yourself to a life half-lived because of exhaustion. You deserve better than that.

When you’re serious about feeling vibrant again, you’ve got to do a few things differently. By doing these 5 things, you’ll discover the secret for how to overcome feeling exhausted.

  1. Schedule a physical.Trying to fit something else into your already jam-packed schedule won’t be easy. However, fatigue is a symptom of nearly every medical disorder, so ruling health issues out first just makes sense – no matter how many other priorities you need to adjust to make it happen.Once you’ve received a clean bill of health, you’ll be able to focus on doing what must be done to deal with your fatigue.
  2. Eliminate unnecessary stress.Every successful woman has a to-do list that seems never-ending. And it’s often the never-ending nature of it that causes tremendous stress.If you’re going to learn how to overcome feeling exhausted from doing it all, you must tame your to-do list. You must learn to delegate and say “No” at work and at home.
  3. Take care of your body.One of the things you can’t delegate or eliminate from your to-do list is taking care of your body. It’s up to you to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and get enough exercise.Caring for your body is a non-negotiable. You need your body in its best shape to successfully complete what’s still left on your to-do list and to fully enjoy your life.
  4. Relax and have fun.Taking time out from doing it all to relax and have fun is a simple way to restore yourself. Yet, when you’re accustomed to continually operating on overdrive, you might find it hard to relax.If relaxation is difficult for you, invest in some training in meditation, yoga or qigong. Each of these practices has the ability to slow down your mind and body.

    The benefit of learning to relax is that it helps your body switch off the adrenaline. And when you do that, your mind and body can recover.

  5. Ask for support.Reaching out to someone you trust to work through family, career or personal issues is just plain smart. No one has all the answers for resolving their own challenges. And it’s by asking for support and then taking action that you’ll fully embrace the secret for how to overcome feeling exhausted.

Remember to take my grandmothers advice, “Take care of your mothers’ daughter”.  As you begin to practice these suggestions, you’ll begin feeling more energized and vibrant. And as you incorporate them into your daily life, you’ll feel great and be unstoppable!

If you’d like personalized support as you learn how to overcome feeling exhausted from doing it all, reach out to me. I’m here to serve you.

5 Ways To Feel As FAB At Home As You Do At Work

5 Ways To Feel As FAB At Home As You Do At Work

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“Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! It’s a bird, it’s a plane” no it’s SUPER WOMEN! Do you ever feel like that at work? Like you can do anything. You are invincible. You put on your cape and make everything happen. You are FAB!!!

Then you go home and want to take the cape off but as soon as you open the door you feel a swoosh of a whirlwind that requires even more of your super powers. But you find the cape doesn’t have the same powers at home as it did at work. At work it lets you leap tall buildings, but at home you trip on everything in sight. What happened to the cape?

Ever wonder how to transport those powers to your home life. It seems that we are all looking for some form of balance and for women this is a tall order. So many stereotypes still existing how we need to be successful and manage a home. It makes me want to break out into the lyrics to the Enjoli commercials from years back.

“I can bring home the Bacon! Fry it up in a Pan! And Never, Never, Never let you forget You’re a Man!  ‘Cause I’m a Woman!”  This is totally unnecessary today. Women revolt now!

What if we didn’t have to do it all. What if we learned how to just do our best and delegate the rest.  After years of trying to live up to everyone’s standard of what I should be doing, countless hospitalizations, high blood pressure, bouts of depression I knew there had to be a better way. I deliberated for years how to be super women at work and home and realized eventually that I could turn in my super women attire and just be me. How freeing that day was and is today.

5 Ways To Feel As FAB At Home As You Do At Work

1. Take off the cape. You do not have to be super women all the time. She runs out of steam and is no good to anyone including herself when she does that. Figure out what you want to do and what you can delegate. Super women in her cape doesn’t know how to do this because she thinks she needs to do it all on her own but YOU know that you are already FABulous even if you aren’t the one that does the laundry, folds the clothes or cleans the house. DELEGATE!

2. Recharge your battery. We all need to recharge and regenerate ourselves so we can come back even stronger. Running yourself down will only result in poor performance, miscommunication at work and at home.  I remember getting so run down that I would be snapping at everyone around me. All I had to do was learn to take 15 minute power naps and life got better for everyone around me.

3. Ask for help. Super women never knew how to ask for help but since you don’t need to be her any more you can. I remember the days when I was able to be home and my husband was working and I didn’t mind doing everything around the house, but then I went back to work. I found myself working outside the house and coming home to do the same. My day never ended and his did. This didn’t last long, I learned to ask for help. We are a family unit and we all are capable of pitching in and helping around the house.

4. Avoid distractions and prioritize. It’s easy to give yourself a “to-do list” and not do anything. Find yourself on the phone, getting caught up in social media or watching television all the time stressing over what you need to do and not doing. Instead prioritize get the things done that need to be and then take time for you. You will find you have more time than you ever imagined when you aren’t wasting it thinking versus doing.

5. Make a happy home your priority. Years from now your family will not remember whether the laundry was done, the floors were washed or the beds were made. They will remember though how you made them feel. Make being happy a priority for you and for them. Take time to give and receive hugs. Smile more often, find things to laugh and play.

Balance comes from simply finding out what’s most important in life and making it a priority. Throw out all the old rules and start making up some of your own so you can live an even happier life now.

For more practical tips and techniques to experience even more in your life join us for a one of our transformational live events.

Living Life in Peace without Emotional Pain

Living Life in Peace without Emotional Pain

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Wow – Doesn’t that sound wonderful? Living Life in Peace without Emotional Pain.  Just reading the words out loud lifts your spirits doesn’t it? You’re probably telling yourself “easier said than done” but it really is possible to live your life without emotional pain and in complete peace; first you need to break away for your inner torment, face your demons, and live the life you deserve.

Moving on in your life requires getting over whatever emotional stage you are currently stuck in which can be a piece of cake for some people who have the ability to let go, move on and overcome their own personal challenges. The fact is that for most of us who are living (or have lived) with emotional pain and low self esteem it can be extremely difficult to overcome the emotional ache that can feel almost physically devastating.

There isn’t a person on the planet that hasn’t had some distressing event in their lives that caused emotional pain. Whether it’s the end of an important relationship, a death of a loved one, emotional or physical abuse during childhood or as adults, if we don’t learn how to handle the pain it can have long term destructive effects on our lives. They are situations we can both learn from and use as tools in creating a life filled with positive experiences, or as in many cases are relived over and over again, crippling us emotionally.

If you’ve been letting life’s challenges darken your existence, it’s crucial that you find a way to confront them head on because if you don’t eliminate that emotional pain, and find peace in your life, it’ll take a toll on your mental, physical and emotional health, and take the joy out of everything you do.

Living life with emotional pain can even end up making it difficult to maintain a routine. This means going to work in the morning will be more difficult since you’ll be less energetic, less enthusiastic and frequently fatigued. You’ll be hard pressed to keep up with a healthy diet and it can lead to emotional eating or worse. The good news is that you can interrupt the soul sapping pattern you’ve been living with and live in complete peace. For example if your psychological pain is due to the end of a relationship, change thoughts like “what did I do wrong?” to “His loss” or “the next relationship will be better”. If it was years of emotional or physical abuse you may need to reach out and contact us for the professional help that can help you tackle the problem, move past it and live an extraordinary life.

By reaching out for the right kind of services, you’ll be able to live a sustainable and healthy lifestyle while also maintaining your mental and emotional health. Take the first steps in the process and start living a joy filled, happy life. You don’t have to suffer from emotional pain forever and peace can be yours if you put yourself in experienced, caring hands.

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When "No" Means "Yes"

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Saying “NO” to bad choices is saying “YES” to yourself. Too often we say yes to others to please them only to leave ourselves feeling angry and frustrated. I did this for the better part of my early years and it eventually took a toll on me. By the time I was 18yrs old I ended up with ulcers and later high blood pressure. I ran around to please everyone and ending up pleasing no one, especially not myself. After being hospitalized my father said there was a two letter word I needed to learn, that word was “No!” I would say yes to everyone, I thought I was superwoman only to find that I wasn’t.

How many times have you told someone you’d do something for them when you knew you already had too much on your plate? In your heart you knew there was some place else you’d rather be, but just to be nice you said “YES”. Did you think if you said “NO” they wouldn’t like you anymore? I used to be like that. I’d overextend myself to the point of exhaustion and then got so angry for not saying “NO” that I’d find myself sitting over a bowl of ice cream drowning myself in my sorrows. I know I’m not alone in this. We say “YES” thinking if we said “no” we wouldn’t be liked. The truth is that until we love ourselves enough to say “NO”, to things that don’t serve us, we aren’t truly saying “YES” to ourselves.

Saying “NO” doesn’t just apply to people, it also applies to food. In a world where everything is centered around socializing this is a tricky one. Growing up in a home where everything was centered around it, food was love and we would never say “NO” to it. Today food doesn’t have the same attachment for me. Food is nourishment and it no longer means love. Saying “NO” to the food is saying “YES” to me.

It’s time to love you. It starts with saying “NO” to what no longer serves you and “YES” to what does. When you say “NO”, you’re saying “YES” to yourself!